Embodiment + Relationship = Effective Leader

You already know my view on embodiment is about reciprocal relationship with one’s mind, body, and spirit. 

It may come as no surprise that I view leadership similarly. (Effective) Leadership is a reciprocal relationship with the purpose (mind), team (body), and vision (spirit) that drive the work you do. 

Let’s pause for a second. What is the difference between a reciprocal relationship and a transactional one?

Have you ever experienced a reciprocal relationship? If the answer is no, this becomes a much more challenging question to navigate. 

Reciprocal relationships imply mutual investment and exchange. Both parties agree that they want to engage in some form of partnership - platonic, romantic, or business - and they establish a dynamic that feels fulfilling and mutually beneficial through communication, collaboration, and iterative action. 

Think interdependence rather than co-dependence. This is also an assumption of most social contracts, by the way.

Transactional relationships are about exactly that - transactions. One person establishes the terms and the other either agrees and fulfills those terms to the letter, or they pass on the offer. No further engagement is assumed or expected. 

Most merchant operations work this way. Either the consumer will buy the product or they won’t. If they don’t, there is no expectation that the buyer will interact with the seller. The seller may pursue further interaction, but the motivation is to complete a transaction, not to engage in a mutual exchange with the consumer. 

Teamwork by nature cannot be so one-sided. So transactional. It requires reciprocity. It requires mutual investment by all members.

This is why embodiment is core to leadership development. When you understand what reciprocal relationship feels like within yourself, translating that to your outer world becomes easier with practice. 

Sometimes it works the other way around, where reciprocal relationships with others help us form one with our inner selves. It really depends on how good your differentiation skills are in a relationship.

I have a working theory that the blind optimism and fanfare about how all the ways AI will save humanity is just an avoidant attachment response to dealing with humans. 

There is a modern narrative that our intellectual ability to innovate is what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. The reality is that our relationships and social ties are at the core of our ability to thrive and survive as a species. This is why we all had to do group projects in school. Just kidding…kind of. 

At the end of the day, we are living in a time when people with power and authority have neglected their social contracts with their workforce, their constituents, and their communities. 

There is a critical need for leaders across several sectors and communities to step up and start the repair process to model healthy relationship dynamics. To create room for safety. To help us all come alive again. 

Will you be one of them?